Feels Like Old Times

I haven't done this in months. But here I am sitting in my car, smoking, and writing. As I feel compelled to stand watch over my children and my home. Knowing there is no sleep for tonight. As my brain tries to compose a battle plan that will include a plan for every possible eventuality…

The Nightmare That NEVER Ends

I have not wrote in a long time because mentally I could not handle it. Things had kinda quieted down with my daughter. Just in time for my life to implode. But I was finally on a good path for the last 2 months. For the first time in a long time I was getting…

Starting A New Chapter

Have you ever read a book that opened up an emotional can of worms? The book I was reading yesterday The Excommunicated Warrior did that to me. It made me look at my life in a whole new light. Here was someone I never met telling me my whole life story. Expressing the same pain,…

From 200mph to 10: The Train Wreck

I have always been known as a person that does things differently than most. Since I was very young, I have always marched to the beat of my own drum. I am a very type A personality and an overachiever. But lately I have been barely able to function. Oh, I can go through the…

New Normals

For the last five years my life has been consumed with new normals. My first real taste of new normals started when my dad passed away five years ago. Followed shortly by my mother walking away from my siblings and I. I had to adjust to the fact that I no longer had parents. It…

Changes

I have struggled to write lately because my life has changed so much in the last few months. I am still dealing with my daughter and all that entails. But now I am also going through a divorce after 14 years and am now the sole parent and caretaker of my younger four children. I…

Lost Without My Village

Hey y'all sorry I've not wrote in a while. Life has been crazy busy. Being a single parent to four kiddos is no joke. My hat goes off to all the single parents out there. I had no idea it was this hard. Thankfully I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of it. I…

Fighting To Stand

This has been a week from hell. I'm just so freaking tired of hell. I know understand the saying that no good deed goes unpunished. The harder I try to do good, the worse things are getting. I'm just so exhausted. I'm one freaking person. I try so hard to do good. I try so…

I Miss The Old Me

For a very long time I have tried to find the person I use to be prior to Conduct Disorder. I use to be a spitfire. I was a happy go lucky, full of life, always laughing, never take life to seriously person. I loved who I was. I have searched and searched for that…